When children and adult learn and succeed the same way
Last week, I spent two hours with my husband’s ex-wife. We talked about children, work and many other issues. We joked and we laughed.
I have a better relationship with her than my husband does with her. After all, they have baggage between them. I have nothing to do with their past marital problems. So, to her, I was someone who brought up three children as a single mother.
And our common interest is her daughter – my stepdaughter.
So if this 8-year-old girl needs help with her studies, discipline, attitude, we unite together to discuss strategies.
My thinking goes like this – in order for this girl to develop the “habits of highly effective person”, we must put in the effort to cultivating them NOW while she is 8.
Today, I spend more time watching over her as she practises her math, than I do watching over the 16, 15 and 12 year-olds put together. The older three had their share of “scaffolding” when they were 8 years old. By now, they are independently practising their math, researching their science, and revising in ways most suitable for their learning styles.
In a nutshell, wikipedia defines scaffolding as “the helpful interactions between adult and child that enable the child to do something beyond his or her independent efforts. A scaffold is a temporary framework that is put up for support and access to meaning and taken away as needed when the child secures control of success with a task.” I call it “give support till the learners can perform on their own.”
Beyond child development, this concept of scaffolding can be applied to adult learning, development and performance too.
Last week, two of my facilitators Thaddeus and Albert spent 6 days with a group of young (22-24 year-old) leaders of the navy. Although they had facilitated many other programmes for other groups, it was the first time that Thaddeus and Albert were running this particular programme. I went in on the first day to give my support. And then I left them on their own till the 6th day, when I came to facilitate an emotional awareness process.
In order for Thaddeus or Albert to independently perform without me, they have experienced “scaffolding” – watched me or another facilitator, delivered while I watched and coached, done parts solo and self-coached, over and over again, till they can do it by themselves. They have had support till they can do it on their own successfully.
There is no instant results, no short-cut to a performance of excellence.
And they scaffolded their 23 participants in the latter’s learning, such that by Day 6, 22 men and 1 woman have overcome negative thinking; embraced their goals, strengths and gifts; learnt to communicate clearly and confidently – ready to “step out of their comfort zone” into the “stretching zone” by themselves. Nevertheless, these learners still recognise the importance of peer support, and thus they agree to keep helping one another learn and grow.
Whenever I see the gap between potential and performance get smaller, I feel immense satisfaction and gratitude. I know it was the effort of the parent/leader/coach to help the learner close the gap. I also acknowledge the learners for their perseverance, and diligence.
There is much joy in the learning. And when we finally perform, we know the effort of rigor and practice is worth it.
Thus, I tell my little step-daughter, “keep practising. You are developing good habit”. She beams at the acknowledgement and attention. And she moves onto the next math problem.
